For 25 years we have tried to "be there" for my son and his family. They married right after his high school graduation, he joined the military because she was pregnant. We basically paid for the wedding and all the trims because her family could not. She lived with us while our son was in basic training and after the baby was born. Over the years there have been thefts and sabitoging of our relationships. She attacked a girl her age that we were allowing to live with us until her car was repaired. The girl was my co-worker at the time. Very jealous. There have been many love=hate periods that as my husband says matches up to whether she is getting along with her family or not. Her family has a dysfunction past. In all the 25 years we have not had a meal at their house, have not been invited for birthdays or celebrtions. I hosted several birthdays when the boys were little and even some for her nephews and neices. Holidays were always a shambles. I hosted each holiday meal. When my husband is on the receiving end of her outrageous remarks he basically responds in kind. It gets heated. But after a while they are good. Myself, is another story. I always asks why she feels the way she does. I just want to know why and how I can improve how she feels. Everything somehow is my fault. I am very hearing impaired and don't always realize that I've answered wrong. Lately they don't even let me know that I've once again misunderstood the conversation. I find out through hateful texts. There are two grandsons, 24 and 16. My son was on TDY and gone for 60 days. My DIL had started a new job at night, all night. I respect that she has to sleep during the day. I've offered to help taxi the youngest if needed but got shot down. Due to diminished funds I was trying to figure out how to do gifts for Christmas. When my mom died at Christmas in 08 we had to move in with Dad due to his dementia. The kids were to store some of my furniture in their homes until I could get it back. My grandson had my hope chest that Mom got me when I was 14, it needed to be refinished. I thougt I would refinish it for him and add some things inside and give it back. I texted DIL to let him know I needed it. I had lost his number when I lost my phone. That text precipitated my current problem. She and the olderst GS will not speak to me. She called my husband to complain about me and they got into it. Hate texts followed, GS told us to write him off if we could not be nice to his mother. It's been three months now, my son is home but has not been over to visit (unless I have an emergency with DAD and he meets us at the ER). He just emailed me and his brother and said that we should not get his family any gifts this year. He lives only 8 blocks from me. I passed DIL at Walmart and I said her name, when she looked at me I said Hi. She turned away and walked quickly away. My heart is just breaking into. My son had asked me to give both his wife and oldest some space, which I have. I am just lonely, stay all day with Dad who is 93 and has retension of less than a minute. Don't go anywhere, so TV and computer is about it. Losing ability to get anything done, just cry so much, of course hubby just says, stopit, you are making yoursel sick. I know I'm not the only person to go through this, and fortunately I have a almost 3 yr old grandaughter once a week to cheer me up, but I just feel so worthless and can't seem to crawl out of the worthless hole. Thanks for listening.