I have been divorced 2 years with a daughter and son having joint custody. however, ex and I got back together shortly after divorce.(not remarried). we lived together for a year and decided it was not working (we were married 15 yrs and tried one last ditch effort for kids). So, recently i moved out (4mths ago) and officially have started our joint custody (from divorce papers 2 yrs ago). He kept the house (his parents house he grew up in). I moved in with my parents (even though i am 36 i want to be able to pay off bills, etc b4 buying a house of my own). So, my son loves being with me half the time. My daughter NEVER wants to visit. I have not pushed is over the past 4 mths due to the fact that she was so ugly to me prior (cussing me, threatening to kill me, hitting me, etc). My ex said it would be best for her and I to have a break. So i agreed to this. however now I want my daughter back 1/2 the time. My ex makes excuses.....says she doesn't want anything to do with me, etc. she says the same things as him. I text her, call her, etc... she never responds. I have gotten her 3 times in the past 4/5 mths. those 3 times were only over a Friday night. however she was VERY pleasant to me. But, Seems like my weekends she ALWAYS has plans now with friends, or some excuse not to stay. She is a strait A student.... member of National Honor society, whos who among jr high school students, etc. she is ONLY like this to me. Her dad has a way to get inside her head and make things seem like she will hurt him if she ENJOYS any time with me. NOTE: I am supposed to have her every Wed-Friday but my ex has said he should keep her to not cause any falls in her grades (as she says she hates me, etc and doesn't want to be with me at all). Ironically I have had 3 days over past 2 months where she had no hatred......but once my ex found this out ......she ironically has started he abusive behavior towards me. this Friday night she tried to run away from my house. My mother found her a mile down the road, backpack and all. this entire time she was calling her dad to pick her up. All this because she cursed me and I then would not allow her to spend Saturday night with a friend. She is soooo ugly to me. It stresses me out. So after the "run away" incident my ex wanted to come get her....and I allowed him a I was afraid she would try it again late at night. She has made it obvious that she doen not want to be with me during my JOINT custody time. So I am now only getting my son. I miss my daughter. But not the name calling or death threats. I have been told to let her go.... she will eventually miss me. BUT we are talking about a 13 year old that has been VERY spoiled ALL her life and is VERY VERY smart. Smarter than a lot of adults I know. But with that smartness comes a VERY hard head and manipulative ways. I don't know what to do. She can be so awful in the way she treats me. my therapist said to let her go.....that forcing her to visit me at her vulnerable age could surly back-fire. BUT I don;t know that I believe that. Her dad gives her anything she wants. Kept the BIG house and all of the normal-cy that came with it. I on the otherhand, moved in with my parents (I have my own bedroom and den downstairs) and they have their own rooms there as well........but she hates it there. how can such a strait A honor society student act so terrible to her own mother. I know she blames me for the divorce.......and she threatens to run away forever if I make her go to a counselor........My ex says he tries to get her to visit me... but he has a problem with allowing her adult type descions (which is a lot of the problem). My ex even told me he had to PAY our daughter just to come over to my house Friday ....HOW CRAZY IS THAT OF HIM!!!! She did grow up hearing and seeing her dad control me, cuss me, etc. So I blame myself a lot for not getting away sooner. Of course he comes from lots of money and I was scared to fight him in court when we divorced, so is one who ALWAYS gets his way too. I feel as if I am about to have a break down. Anyone have any suggestions...please let me know!!!!!!! TG