Get out! I'm on Ivillage too! But, I couldn't find that one! Thanks for the heads up! I'll go on that one, I've just been blogging on thier friends board. Couldn't find anyone too much like me, and found I was kind of giving advise to younger mothers. It's kind of like that when your going through everything again! But, I don't mind God gave us the Children and said handle with love! But, then we have to figure out how to handle the personalities. That can be the big mysteries about them. But, they keep us on our brain toes. Thanks again Maureen your a gem!

I was wondering how this blog got into this dicussion instead of the one on teens. I've been on that one too. They are the ones that put me on to you guys when I need help about the internet. Good idea about where to go. More parents to understand you on the teen site than here. And, more parents going through the same thing. Go for it! You'll find so much support! Good advise Maureen! But, then you would give nothing less!

Okay, here goes! I have two daughters like your one! And, they are quite good at what they do too! My older one has been doing these things since she was 12. And, she would convince people that it was me who was abusing her. She was very good, to the point that she would convience my family, and friends. We went throught counseling, Tough Love Programs, and anything else I could find. I even had some of my friends take her into thier homes. They brought her back after a night or two because they found that they couldn't handle her. Heck, the head of the Tought Love program took her into her home, and once again I had her back after only one night. I found if I just let others find out for themselves what I was going through they would support me instead of her. Her true colors would come out sooner or later. Even the schools couldn't handle her. They supported me when she told all her friends that I threw her down the stairs, after I had locked her in the attic of our house. We had just finish reading the book "Flowers in the Attic". When the worker from Children and Youth came to the school, the Principle and teachers, were all behind me, and pulled out my daughters records to support me instead of her. When the worker met with my daughter she was convinced that my daughter was just vieing for attention. But, in the end my daughter ended up in juvenille home, from which she broke out of. Then the courts decides that they would give her the rights of an adult at they age of 15. They said that no one could control her, and that she was a threat to society. Sometimes you have to "let go and let God take care of your children". Maybe not at that age. But, I have had to do that with both of my daughters. They are both in thier 30s now and they are still going through problems. But, those problems are THIER problems, and I DON'T allow them to bring them home to ME! I am also raising one of my daugters sons. I adopted him when he was 2, and he is now 12. He calls me mom (that was his chose)and we are going through him growing up with bipolar. But, I never let his mom come back into out lives, and I let her know that fact. When he is ready to met her that is up to HIM not me. But, I will not bring her into his live to disrupt it. And, both of my daugters are adults, and even when they call because they are getting put out in the streets I tell them to go to a shelter. They have to hit bottom. I may sound cruel, but if they keep bouncing back into my life like a ball. I will be an enabler to them. Like someone who enables a junkie when they say I only need just one more. Well, I'm not going to be thier just one more. They have to do it thier selfs. You have to cut your daughter off! It may sound curel, but if you don't she'll always know she can keep coming back to you for just one more. And, she'll drag you, and your grandchild down with her. She's doing it now. And, your having to do damage control for her! If she comes to your door, don't let her in. If she doesn't go away. And, this will be hard! Tell her you'll call the police for trespassing, and stick to it!!! Call them if you have too! Make it clear to her you are not going to enable her any more. If she cries abuse to everyone else just sit it out they'll see her true colors. Don't you become the abuse one. GET A SUPPORT GROUP! There are abused parent support groups. Your are being abused! Stop looking at her as your sweet little girl, SHE IS A ADULT! She may be your daughter, but she is using you,and you are letting her. She is good at what she does and you are helping her. Stop listening to those messages. I am sure she loves you. But, right now she doesn't have the compasity to really love anyone. I go through bipolar everyday, and I know. Your not helping her. Let her go!!! She can't get help if you stand in her way! Please you take care of you, and that beautiful grandchild. I am truly sorry if I sound hard, but I live this. And, I'm truly coming from the heart. I wish I could be there for support, but you need to get someone. Be "stong like a lion, and gentle as a lamb." I will be praying for you, looking to see how your doing.

talk to her nicely and give her respect and you'll recieve it back

Hey...it's 2008 now. Did everyone's daughters stop hating them?

I called my d's bf's house last night, as she had gone on a hunting trip with him over the weekend, and hadn't gone to school yesterday.

She called back and my 13 yr old daughter answered the phone and told me "Anna wants me to tell you she is home." (that meant back in town)

This meant a lot to me that she called back. Maybe she thought "wow, mom DOES care whether I'm alive or dead."

I hope so.

~Laura

Welcome, everyone, but I’ll have to remind you again that this forum is about people’s safety on the social Web. ConnectSafely.org is a non-profit organization that helps families with Internet-related safety issues, and we appreciate all efforts to stay on topic here.

Many thanks,

Maureen

~
Maureen Kochan
ConnectSafely forum manager

why does parenting have to hurt so much? my kid is 15 and loves me , I know, but will not tell me since... well, we reached a breaking point and told each other we hated one another. Then forgiveness was asked and exhibited, father mediated, Bible was present as the value system. After all the intervention she still won't say the words. I think she truly wants to be in an older person;s life. But at 15, it's not an option. I love her and see a creative spirit, unlike my boxed-in life. She hits highs and lows like the light switch mentioned in the earlier post, but should I have her evaluated?? Or, from the posts, it seems this is typical behavior in the over-sensitized, over-interneted, over-cel phoned TEENAGE GAL! Help!! Would you think this behavior out of the norm? Should I just chill and relax and wait for her to come back to me at 18 or so? I wait your validation. THANK YA