Daughter posts overly-sexual blog on MySpace

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I don't know how to respond to finding out that my 16-year-old daughter has posted a sort-of creepy blog on MySpace. Maybe I'm just an old fogey, and it's perfectly ok, but it seems to me that it will make others think she's weird, and could attract perverts. I'm sure she just thinks it's funny. It's an idea for a scene in a porn movie. Should I just ask her about it, or make her take it down, or report it as offensive? -- Edited by Larry at 07/21/2006 5:46 PM

Last Post Jul 21, 2006 3:48 PM by: Anne

Anne

Posts: 507

Registered: 6/26/06

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Re: Daughter posts overly-sexual blog on MySpace

Jul 21, 2006 3:48 PM

Thanks for your post. You are certainly not alone in having this question. And you're not "just an old fogey" - your concerns are certainly natural. Probably the best first response is to sleep on it - don't act too fast. Overreacting is usually not helpful, because it breaks down parent-child communication when the latter is needed more than ever. Reporting the blog as offensive to the site probably won't help much either, because - even if you get it taken down - she can start up a new one under a different screen name there or at another one of the hundreds of free social-networking and blogging sites. The same pretty much goes for "making her take it down," unless she'll actually comply and not just start a new one.

But I think the best thing to do - if possible, based on your own mother-daughter relationship - is to turn this into a talking point or even "teachable moment." When you're both able to discuss rationally and open-mindedly about teen socializing online in general and maybe about her blog and how you ran across it (because you're good mom and care about her well-being and doing your job), that kind of conversation would be a good thing to have. You could start by asking her if she really feels the way her blog makes her sound and why. You know kids sometimes act out or try on different personas online - would she be willing to talk about that with you? Or just, could she show you some of her friends' blogs or profiles? You can certainly share your concerns with her about strangers seeing her blog and trying to approach her - turn that into an opp to get her assurances that she'd never meet with someone offline she'd never met in person and that she knows it's best never to respond to strange people contacting her - making sure she gets the reasons behind basic safety tips. I'm just throwing out some ideas - you'll know the best way to have the discussion (or 2 or 3).

It is our job to share our concerns as rationally and lovingly as possible, and most kids get that. It's also teens' job to explore their identity and push the envelop as they learn to assess risk, and it's hard for us to let them do their job. But it seems to help when everybody's fairly open about their roles and understands that neither is easy. I hope there are some helpful ideas here. Let us know how it goes. All best,
Anne
BlogSafety co-director -- Edited by Larry at 07/21/2006 5:45 PM

mama

Posts: 1

From: New York

Registered: 7/21/06

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