my close friends daughter is hiding her computer activity from her. a year and a half ago her daughter was involved with something "shady" online. she received very expensive flower deliveries from unknown online "frien" her mom found out she had posted her picture online, freaked out and cancelled internet and grounded daughter. tempororarily fixed problem. however a year and a half later they felt she had learned her lesson and reconnected internet. her behavior shows shes hiding something. none of us are computer geniuses, how can we catch her and the person (presumably an adult) shes definitely smarter about covering her tracks than we are in finding them. HELP! any suggestions?
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son of liberty
Posts:
94
From:
anytown, USA
Registered:
6/28/06
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(7 of 7)
Re: friends daughter hiding something
Aug 14, 2006 2:49 PM
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Tell that person not to be so dumb as to want to do that, before something happens to her and parents declare martial law (like always) and it ruins everything for everyone
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Michael
Posts:
5
From:
Pennsylvania
Registered:
8/10/06
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(6 of 7)
Re: friends daughter hiding something
Aug 14, 2006 8:22 AM
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Hi geegie,
I think the first thing your friend need to do is work on the trust issues with her daughter. Has she tried tallking to her about what is going on? If she can gain her trust she might have an easier time persuading away from "shady" activities. As far as her "online friend" it might be prudent for your friend to at least advise her how she should protect herself and the types of questions she should ask her friend. She may not tell your friend about her new friend but at least she'll have some tools to protect herself with. Even if she gets her to promise NOT to meet him without telling her or bringing someone that would be a positive step at least in establishing that she cares about her.
Your friend also has to realize that she does have the power of the checkbook. Cancelling the internet was an inconvenience for all of them I'm sure. Her daughter can always go somewhere else for the internet. Your friend can try to establish "house rules" for using the internet such as only in common areas of the house or keeping the screen facing into the room. If your friend is really concerned about something illegal or dangerous to her daughter she may want to visit her local police department. Almost evey unit has a computer crimes bureau today or at least a resource officer to give her direction in protecting her daughter.
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Anne
Posts:
507
Registered:
6/26/06
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(5 of 7)
Re: friends daughter hiding something
Aug 14, 2006 7:03 AM
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I'd suggest to anyone in a situation like that that they talk with their child. Certainly, there are monitoring products and services to install or hire (see this page at GetNetWise.org to get a list of software products) - as people are saying in this thread - but monitoring doesn't change risky behavior. Parenting does. That can definitely be hard work, but the longer parent-child communication is delayed, the harder it'll be, I imagine. All best,
Anne
BlogSafety.com co-director |
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geegie
Posts:
2
Registered:
8/13/06
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(4 of 7)
Re: friends daughter hiding something
Aug 14, 2006 3:37 AM
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Thank you.
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BakerFamily
Posts:
4
From:
AZ
Registered:
8/11/06
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(3 of 7)
Re: friends daughter hiding something
Aug 13, 2006 7:29 PM
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We have the same concerns in our family. We have twin daughters and we don't want them talking to older men. We just signed up for SafeSpacers and it took a lot of stress off of our shoulders. I'm not a computer person, so it's nice to know somebody is doing the monitoring for us. They were very nice with all my questions. I hope my input helps.
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Parker
Posts:
6
From:
OC, CA
Registered:
8/11/06
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(2 of 7)
Re: friends daughter hiding something
Aug 13, 2006 6:43 PM
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I know about the rules of advertising here, but SafeSpacers is a great option for this situation. It's a monitoring service run by college students out of Orange County, CA. They are the ones who actually do the monitoring multiple times a day (as opposed to software). They will work closely with authorities in your area if there is a problem. I would check out the website:
www.safespacers.com
Your friend's situation is exactly why SafeSpacers exists. Please tell your friend about us because it's her daughter's safety that we care about the most right now.
parker
www.safespacers.com
contact@safespacers.com
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geegie
Posts:
2
Registered:
8/13/06
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(1 of 7)
friends daughter hiding something
Aug 13, 2006 5:12 PM
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my close friends daughter is hiding her computer activity from her. a year and a half ago her daughter was involved with something "shady" online. she received very expensive flower deliveries from unknown online "frien" her mom found out she had posted her picture online, freaked out and cancelled internet and grounded daughter. tempororarily fixed problem. however a year and a half later they felt she had learned her lesson and reconnected internet. her behavior shows shes hiding something. none of us are computer geniuses, how can we catch her and the person (presumably an adult) shes definitely smarter about covering her tracks than we are in finding them. HELP! any suggestions?
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