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How do I watch my daughters myspace?
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How do I watch my daughters myspace?

[Replies: 11]
Hello all,

I have twin daughters who both have myspace profiles. They're only 16 and I guess you could call me a 'worry parent'. I'm in a weird position because I'm not a computer person and neither is my husband. I read a lot about software to monitor their activity, but it all looks so confusing and I really don't have the time to figure everything out. Have other parents had any luck with easy software? Do I even need software? Is there a service that just has people who can do it? I'd much rather hire somebody (who I can trust of course). Also, can somebody give me a list of other message boards for these topics? Not that this one isn't good, we're just looking for more answers.

Thank you so much everybody

~Marie
Last Post Sep 13, 2006 9:07 PM by: wsvp
wsvp
Posts: 5
Registered: 9/13/06
(12 of 12)

Re: How do I watch my daughters myspace?

Sep 13, 2006 9:07 PM
16 year olds do not need to be monitored.

They need to be advised.

Monitor them- and they'll hate you. They'll become even more secretive and hide everything they can from you. Do you want that?

Do you remember being 16? Would you have told your parents who you had a crush on, your hopes and fears and dreams- personal things?

No, you wouldn't have.

If you want them to be safe, go over internet safety guidelines with them- all of which are common sense, and they probably know it all already.
son of liberty
Posts: 94
From: anytown, USA
Registered: 6/28/06
(11 of 12)

Re: How do I watch my daughters myspace?

Sep 13, 2006 4:47 PM
Woohoo!! Is this the great or what? I just remember when everyone was all stirred up about my first post as FOUNDING FATHERS on the old blogsafety.com. Finally there is more open-minded free thinking people discovering this site.
Another Novato Teen
Posts: 11
Registered: 8/30/06
(10 of 12)

Re: How do I watch my daughters myspace?

Aug 30, 2006 8:29 PM
First of all, your daughters are 16. I'm sure they''ve been through enough for them to be responsible and sensible to take care of themselves online.

You are not only a worried parent, you are an overprotective parent and that's not a good thing.
MWilson
Posts: 2
Registered: 8/27/06
(9 of 12)

Re: How do I watch my daughters myspace?

Aug 27, 2006 8:35 PM
I have had luck with www.vooga.net . For $20-25 they sent me a copy of my 2 daughter's Myspace and facebook accounts... For more money, they will send you abunch of pictures that have been posted, but I didn't try that...

Just my $.02
ThePrimeSpot.com
Posts: 4
From: Long Beach
Registered: 8/15/06
(8 of 12)

Re: How do I watch my daughters myspace?

Aug 15, 2006 8:53 PM
I believe all you need is your daughter's name and email to find her page BUT why not ask her/them for a tour. I think even if she sets her profile to private that just ANYone can still email her.

Give her this URL,
it's of a girl who was missing
after meeting someone through MySpace:
www.myspace.com/doowop

Try and get your twins to do a "professional" type "blog" about being TWINS or other subjects. Using only first names and country.

You never know, someone people's myspace profile can prevent someone from getting a job (you learn alot via friend's comments as well) but for good writers, it could wind up as a career.

Turn them onto Podcasts as well, if they are going to be involved in New Media, they might as well make it work for them! (There was a "Mothers of Multiples" Convention taking place the same time as PodcastExpo.com last year!)
Michael Goldberg
Posts: 15
From: West Chester Pa
Registered: 6/22/06
(7 of 12)

Re: How do I watch my daughters myspace?

Aug 15, 2006 4:27 AM
Hello Marie,

I feel the same way, you should always talk to your child before you take any actions. Education is with out a doubt one of the strongest deterrents from being subjected to online dangers. While there are many great services available for monitoring activity, you should always consider a few key things before you decide.

1) Does it record what you need?
2) What else will it monitor?
3) Can it be tampered with?
4) Is the software currently able to record the latest versions of the kind of external applications that your children may be using?
5) Is there any support with the software?
6) How easy is it to manage?

I am certain that there are several more things to consider when making that kind of decision.

I can not really speak for other companies that have monitoring software available, but I can for the company I work for. SpectorSoft has multiple monitoring tools that are specifically designed for parents. There is no need to really be concerned about it being difficult to use or install because when we created our software we understood that there will always be parents that have different computer skill levels. Additionally, if you were to have a problem you would only be a phone call away.

If you would like to talk to someone on the phone about the software you may always give me a call Monday – Friday between 9am-6pm est. I would be more than happy to discuss any questions that you may have. I can be reached at 1-888-598-2788 x2747. Anyone may call me if they have questions regarding monitoring software.

You may also learn more about our products by visiting http://www.spectorsoft.com.

For your needs, I think Spector Pro or eBlaster would work out for you best.

Also, a few of our products are (and have been listed in http://kids.getnetwise.org/tools/ for years), but the information they have is very old and out of date. We constantly update our software as time goes by, so you may fair better to go to our website after you have been to http://kids.getnetwise.org/tools/.

Regards,

Michael Goldberg

--
Edited by Michael Goldberg at 08/15/2006 5:03 AM
socialshield
Posts: 10
Registered: 7/24/06
(6 of 12)

Re: How do I watch my daughters myspace?

Aug 15, 2006 1:32 AM
Hi Marie

We sell some monitoring software that is very easy to use and setup.

We do however recommand first learning about Myspace and try to talk to your child about safe use before starting to monitor.

--
Sean Percival
Social Shield Webmaster
http://www.socialshield.com
safetychrissy
Posts: 1
Registered: 8/14/06
(5 of 12)

Re: How do I watch my daughters myspace?

Aug 14, 2006 9:35 AM
There is another service that I found that can also help you. It is a tool specifically used to monitor your child on social networking sites (i.e. MySpace) It is really simple. All you do is sign up for the service, put in your daughter's e-mail address and it does the rest for you. It send reports to your e-mail detailing what your daughter is doing on MySpace. It is www.benetsafe.com. You should check it out.
BakerFamily
Posts: 4
From: AZ
Registered: 8/11/06
(4 of 12)

Re: How do I watch my daughters myspace?

Aug 13, 2006 7:23 PM
Thank you so much for all of your suggestions. I looked at getnetwise.org, but there was just way too much there for me to even try to understand. I have talked to my daughters about rules of myspace, but my husband and I agree that we just want to be sure. We ended up trying SafeSpacers. It looked the best because computer-smart people can handle it. We spoke with Parker via email. Great customer service. I think we found a good solution. He suggested that we just try the first month plan. Once we get a report, we will let you know how it works.

Thank you all so much for helping! Fast answers are really great! Thank you,

~Marie
Parker
Posts: 6
From: OC, CA
Registered: 8/11/06
(3 of 12)

Re: How do I watch my daughters myspace?

Aug 13, 2006 1:56 PM
Hi Marie,

Anne had a lot of great points. I would talk to your kids first (not about monitoring them, but about the dangers of myspace). After you talk to them, if you still want that peace of mind that they are safe, that's when you should monitor them.

Since you're not a computer person and you don't seem to have a lot of time, SafeSpacers would probably be best for you. You don't have to really do any work. We'll do it all for you.

www.safespacers.com

Also, if you do end up using software, let us know how you like it!

I hope everything works out for you!

parker
www.safespacers.com
NetFamilyNews
Posts: 368
Registered: 6/5/06
(2 of 12)

Re: How do I watch my daughters myspace?

Aug 12, 2006 7:37 AM
Marie, besides standard monitoring software (that you can find out more about at GetNetWise.org) there are convenience tools that alert you to what's going on at certain services like MySpace (MySpaceWatch and a new one called BeNetSafe) and a service called SafeSpacers.com in which actual people do the monitoring and send you reports. But I can't say I've tested any of these and couldn't recommend a specific tool even if I did (because of conflict of interest).

However, two things you may have seen posted by smart parents on this forum: 1) it's usually a good idea to talk with your kids first before monitoring and tell them why, because parent-child communication is more important than ever on this highly mobile, go-anywhere, anytime Web on which kids can set up stealth accounts in the blink of an eye (teens are known to set up shadow profiles for "real" socializing in addition to the one parents can know about); and 2) the best way to know what's going on on MySpace or any social network is to start your own account. This was recommended by a psychology prof. at Cal State in a memo to parents based on a recent study he did with parents and teens on MySpace (both memo and study are linked to from his Web page). Starting an account is easy - you're prompted through it - and you don't have to put in any info you don't want to. Some parents who do this have a rule that they have to be on their kids' friends lists.

I hope this perspective helps. My co-director of the forum, Larry Magid, and I do have a book for parents just out on all this, if that would be helpful. It's called MySpace Unraveled: What it is and how to use it safety.
Anne Collier
BlogSafety.com co-director
BakerFamily
Posts: 4
From: AZ
Registered: 8/11/06
(1 of 12)

How do I watch my daughters myspace?

Aug 11, 2006 5:19 PM
Hello all,

I have twin daughters who both have myspace profiles. They're only 16 and I guess you could call me a 'worry parent'. I'm in a weird position because I'm not a computer person and neither is my husband. I read a lot about software to monitor their activity, but it all looks so confusing and I really don't have the time to figure everything out. Have other parents had any luck with easy software? Do I even need software? Is there a service that just has people who can do it? I'd much rather hire somebody (who I can trust of course). Also, can somebody give me a list of other message boards for these topics? Not that this one isn't good, we're just looking for more answers.

Thank you so much everybody

~Marie