Is it sad what sometimes happens to these people? I guess, but it is no body's fault. Kids will ALWAYS make the same mistakes and has nothing to do with the internet. The girl still would have taken a picture of herself and probably still have given it to her boyfriend. And what happens after they break up? You probably know. But, really, what is the big deal? You were born into this world naked, so who cares if someone sees you without clothes on? I mean, just go to the beach. Nothing is left to the imagination of even the youngest of children.

And what does the Star Wars kid have to do with anything? How can one stop that? That wasn't his fault; he did nothing wrong. How can one stop such a thing from happening? Really? One can't stop other people from taking a video and spreading it. So, yeah, education might be good to stop a child from making a fool of themselves on the net but they won't be able to stop someone else from grabbing it and sending it across the net. And there is nothing anyone can do. And you might not even be able to find out who did it.

As well, the 13 year-old may not have known that everyone will see it, most of the older teens who take pictures of themselves and upload them know that all their friends can see it. And if they want to do that then that is their choice.

I'm ALL for letting kids be kids. It's true-- if kids don't fall, how will they ever learn to pick themselves up?

However, there are other consequences BESIDES kids getting a good dose of karma (aka. what they deserve). Not to mention, how far does "getting what they deserve" go? Mistakes can be small, and they can be big-- so big that it affects everything they do, the people around them (especially family), and their future.

You know... it's hard to condemn others before it's happened to you.

I applaud EVERYONE for having the "smarts" to know what is right/wrong to do online. That's awesome! It means that-- somewhere along the line you've really adapted to web life and what it takes to stay safe. You're the lucky ones... because not everyone has the same self-confidence, self-control, or self-awarness (especially in their teens & twenties). More importantly- not everyone has had enough experience or education (life education, not necessarily school or computer class) to know the extent of choices & results.

There is liability in the world now too. You have to remember-- if a kid falls in a skateboarding park, it's generally the kid's fault (indirectly, of course). These days, the skate boarding park, staff, and even skateboard companies are considered liable.

The point is-- the best we can do is TRY to make sure possibly-harmful situations do not happen online, as both parents and moderators. Kids will be kids, teens will be teens, and no matter how we try to safeguard, 'things' will still go wrong. The important issue at hand is educating youth to protect themselves and others around them.

When a kid falls down, instead of pointing at them and saying he/she deserved it... let's show a bit of empathy and responsibility. That way-- next time when they feel like they might fall, they'll be a bit wiser for wear.

I don't know. That's just my rambling opinion. I just know that I, personally, would rather help someone AVOID making a mistake, then watch them and the people around them suffer for it.

Izzy

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Edited by izzy Neis at 10/27/2006 9:33 AM

Err wow. my post was kinda destroyed. I'm going to go fix that. Yeah, that's just my opinion, and like you said, each to their own.

I can't edit my post right now, or otherwise i would. I thought i only quoted part of your post, haha. sorry.
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Watch, watch me disappearing completely/In the dream of destruction and rebirth, this poem will be sung/In this fragmented sky, aaah, dozing, you had searched for the feeling that was wished for. Siva&Diva--アリス九號。

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Edited by fuzzybutton at 10/26/2006 5:58 PM

I feel symathy tward her because that is something that will stay with her forever
That also reminds me of the news report about the three kids arrested a few years ago in Washington for selling sexualy explisit videos of them selves, you wonder what they were thinking but sometimes people do not think through their actions

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-Rasma

Fuzzybutton, so you have no sympathy at all for the 13-year-old girl? Did you have any for the "Star Wars kid"? Maybe I'm overly sympathetic, but I see those as tragedies that I wish those kids could've avoided. You're right, adults aren't much better at decisionmaking, but they usually have a track record of mistakes they've learned from that, because teens are younger they simply haven't had time to amass yet (the "life experience" thing). That track record can be useful in helping ourselves and our kids avoid similarly painful mistakes. If someone who loved that girl understood a little about how she was using digital photography and email, it just seems logical that things might've gone better for her.

Social-networking and digital media are just the fear and "great unknown" of today, but other aspects of this "revolution" aren't so different. Adults were scared of the impact of the jitterbug, then Elvis and rock 'n' roll, then the sexual revolution, then.... And the "perpetrators" and fans of those big "scares" turned out just fine for the most part. But we adults do need a little education to rationally, calmly help our kids think before they upload. In talks I've given, I tell parents that, as I've learned from pediatricians and researchers, risk assessment is important, a major task of adolescence - it's not good for parents to try to remove all risk from their kids' lives (or "bubble-wrap them," as you put it) - but there's a balance to strike in all things. We can't be overly fearful and overreactive, but we also can't be expected to let our children make truly tragic mistakes like the one I described in my last post. I think you're a reasonable person who might understand this perspective.
Anne
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Anne Collier
BlogSafety co-director

Thanks for your posts, fuzzybutton and Rasma. The only thing I can think of to add is that, well, there are all kinds of "kids," Leave_Kids_Alone. It didn't occur to one 13-year-old we know of (case shared by youth officer Det. Frank Dannahey in Conn.) that after she emailed sexually explicit photos of herself (showing her face too) to her boyfriend, his password had been shared with another guy who proceeded to find them in his in-box and post them in a Web site, then share the site's URL with everyone at school. Yes, some kids think things through more than others, some kids are more tech-literate than others, but there's a physiological reason for why kids and teens need *some*, appropriate, support and guidance from adults. Neurologists tell us people's frontal lobes - the "executive" part of the brain that understands cause and effect - don't complete development till their early 20s (here's a brief report at the National Institute of Mental Health on this). People in their teens and younger are just not designed to fully understand yet the implications of their actions. So these days minors and adults need each other - we need your tech literacy and you need some of our life literacy. Neither is ready to be a complete expert in either, thank you very much, but we can certainly help each other out, don't you think? Thanks for posting,
Anne
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Anne Collier
BlogSafety co-director

Way to be mature. Because capslock is cruise control for cool. This isn't blogging, btw. This is a forum.

And yeah. let kids be kids.

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Watch, watch me disappearing completely/In the dream of destruction and rebirth, this poem will be sung/In this fragmented sky, aaah, dozing, you had searched for the feeling that was wished for. Siva&Diva--アリス九號。