Karen, I can understand where you are coming from. I have a teeenage daughter who has started talking on line recentley. You've said that you've had a close relationship with your daghter before. It's not to late, but learn how to talk to her by (listening),(listening), to what she has to say and then respond. First of all make some ME time for you and her only, and then go to the library and get some books on topics that you need to talk to her about, If it's about sex, pedefiles,drugs, ect. I get books because we can read about things together and they can also see the real deal; (pictures) about sexual diseases and so many other things. If you can, try your best to monitor her emails and profiles. Make sure that she shows you her profile that she has though myspace.com ect., but don't be fooled make sure that she dosn't have any more blogs. Check the history, or get some type of parental spyware safety kit. I've talk to my daughter and I walk up on her at any time to see what she is typing and ask questions, but before all of that happens you need to be able to talk to her on a calm and respectful level. There should be no screaming at all on her or your part, because that should never be aloud between a child and a parent. Yes, kids can get upset but, you DO NOT allow your child to yell or scream at you. Some people may feel that spying on your kids is not a good idea, but at the same time you do what you can to make sure that your child is on the right track, because peer presure is ALIVE and WELL. (THE #1 THING THAT YOU SHOULD DO, IS TO PREY TO YOUR HIGHER POWER AND TEACH YOUR CHILD TO RESPECT HERSELF AT ALL TIMES.)
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gtpsych
Posts:
8
From:
Atlanta, GA
Registered:
10/11/06
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(9 of 9)
Re: Karen/ Teenage Daughter
Oct 12, 2006 4:11 PM
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1) It's spelled pedophile. Yes, I make spelling mistakes too. But when the word is central to your topic, it speaks to your credibility. When one of the mistakes you make is a ph instead of an f such as in all words with a phile suffix, it speaks to your intelligence.
2) Parents' trying to spy on me is the reason I stated using encryption. Push too hard, and you'll lose them.
3) The only reason you should really be afraid of your kids doing things behind your back is if you've already failed raising them. Think of you when you were a kid. What's changed that you can't blame on your own ineptitude?
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olav
Posts:
39
From:
Norway
Registered:
9/30/06
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(8 of 9)
Re: Karen/ Teenage Daughter
Oct 4, 2006 2:59 PM
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Fuzzybutton - I went back to read your older postings. I think there's a generation gap between the two of us.  |
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fuzzybutton
Posts:
71
Registered:
9/10/06
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(7 of 9)
Re: Karen/ Teenage Daughter
Oct 4, 2006 1:12 PM
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> WE have a huge problem :
>
> Teenagers have the skills - but not the wisdom.
> Parents have the wisom - but not the skills.
>
Way to generalize. Most parents are too overprotective and think their 'life skills' will always fit the situation. Times change.
--
Watch, watch me disappearing completely/In the dream of destruction and rebirth, this poem will be sung/In this fragmented sky, aaah, dozing, you had searched for the feeling that was wished for. Siva&Diva--アリス九號。
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Anne
Posts:
505
Registered:
6/26/06
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(6 of 9)
Re: Karen/ Teenage Daughter
Oct 4, 2006 12:25 PM
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Right, Olav, or parents must be able to give a lecture by listening! Anyway, the way I've been describing the dichotomy for years is, parents have life literacy (aka street smarts) and kids have tech literacy/smarts, and the two need each other. More than ever, one can't function proficiently in this world of blurring distinctions between online and offline without the other. There has always been a generation gap, but now it presents an interesting opportunity for furthering mutual respect and parent-child communication. Am I too glass-half-full? 
Anne
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Anne Collier
BlogSafety co-director |
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olav
Posts:
39
From:
Norway
Registered:
9/30/06
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(5 of 9)
Re: Karen/ Teenage Daughter
Oct 4, 2006 12:09 PM
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WE have a huge problem : Teenagers have the skills - but not the wisdom. Parents have the wisom - but not the skills. The only way out here s for parents to accuire knowledge and for teenagers to accept that age itself provides wisdom. However - since the generation gap is a needed factor in development - the whole matter is boiling down to : Parents must be able to give a lecture without lecturing. Olav  |
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Britt 101
Posts:
1
Registered:
10/2/06
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(4 of 9)
Re: Karen/ Teenage Daughter
Oct 3, 2006 4:08 PM
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hi i am New on this website. I think that your post was great!! well i gotta go so bye Britt101 |
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Dot Calm
Posts:
5
Registered:
6/20/06
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(3 of 9)
Re: Karen/ Teenage Daughter
Sep 25, 2006 8:13 PM
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Dear Zeyana,
I remember what it felt like to be 14. I used to get really mad at my parents when I felt like they were invading my space. I felt they had no right to do that.
Unlike you, I am now on the other side of the fence, and now I am the mother and I have three teenagers--two daughters and a son. The only thing I can tell you is things look a lot different now that I am 42! I have seen pretty much all the evil things that people do to one another ON PURPOSE, and it is a big responsibility to be the parent, knowing that your children are at risk.
Just like when my kids were little, and I was responsible to hold their hand while crossing the street so they didn't run out in front of a moving car (because they were too little to see what was coming down the street), so too I am responsible for "seeing" farther than they can see yet, while they are on the Internet
Believe me, if you got your wish, and the people who love you and care for you ever "just went away," where would that leave you? With an Internet full of people who don't know you and who certainly DON'T love you--and you would be at their mercy.
Thank God for parents who love you enough to stand firm so that you will be safe. Believe me, you will be in their shoes sooner than you think, and you will be able to see with the vision of a parent, and you will have learned how to stand tough in the face of fierce opposition. Then you will say to your parents, "Thank you for protecting me--I didn't realize..." and then they will get their paybacks when they watch you with your children...
I never thought it would happen to me, either!!
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Zeyana
Posts:
5
From:
You dont need to know
Registered:
9/22/06
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(2 of 9)
Re: Karen/ Teenage Daughter
Sep 22, 2006 9:10 AM
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You know what I am so tired of adults trying to spy on us, if we wanted you to invade our privacy we would ASK but we dont we want you all to just go away, I speak my mind as a 14 year old girl but I hate my mom invading my privacy so I keep away from her at all times, the best way for you to deal with it is to ask her what she is doing on the internet. Not go and read her e-mails and listen to her phone conversations that just makes is even more ticked off and will make us do it more.
~Zeya
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Chantel
Posts:
1
From:
Humble, Tx
Registered:
9/19/06
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(1 of 9)
Sep 19, 2006 6:06 PM
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Karen, I can understand where you are coming from. I have a teeenage daughter who has started talking on line recentley. You've said that you've had a close relationship with your daghter before. It's not to late, but learn how to talk to her by (listening),(listening), to what she has to say and then respond. First of all make some ME time for you and her only, and then go to the library and get some books on topics that you need to talk to her about, If it's about sex, pedefiles,drugs, ect. I get books because we can read about things together and they can also see the real deal; (pictures) about sexual diseases and so many other things. If you can, try your best to monitor her emails and profiles. Make sure that she shows you her profile that she has though myspace.com ect., but don't be fooled make sure that she dosn't have any more blogs. Check the history, or get some type of parental spyware safety kit. I've talk to my daughter and I walk up on her at any time to see what she is typing and ask questions, but before all of that happens you need to be able to talk to her on a calm and respectful level. There should be no screaming at all on her or your part, because that should never be aloud between a child and a parent. Yes, kids can get upset but, you DO NOT allow your child to yell or scream at you. Some people may feel that spying on your kids is not a good idea, but at the same time you do what you can to make sure that your child is on the right track, because peer presure is ALIVE and WELL. (THE #1 THING THAT YOU SHOULD DO, IS TO PREY TO YOUR HIGHER POWER AND TEACH YOUR CHILD TO RESPECT HERSELF AT ALL TIMES.)
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